Steve Arnold (1961-2006)
It is often said that you can’t pick your relatives but you can pick your in-laws. Although I don’t think I was looking at Kathie’s family when deciding to marry, I certainly have no regrets with the in-laws that I received in the deal. Through the last 25 years we have seen each other during holidays and shared vacations and family reunions. All of my in-laws are good hardworking people. Steve was no exception.
Early on in meeting the Arnold family, Steve distinguished himself with drop in visits to
Rochester. Steve would visit Kathie and I at any time of day, would stay for a few
hours then disappear just as quickly. Kathie and I started married life in
Orlando and during winter break right after our wedding Steve came to stay with us
while he worked through the break. During that time Steve was working 3 jobs
and had some minor dealings that I felt compelled to give him advice on. It is
then that I jokingly started to call him son.
Steve was not one who took advice from others easily. I later realized that much of this probably came from being the youngest of six children. I think the syndrome comes from having a lifetime of 7 people giving him advice and deciding to listen to his own voice. He also had a personal vision that was sometimes hard for others to understand. This included some of the choices he made in life.
Steve lived in a farmhouse south of Burlington Vermont with his wife Dawn and children Owen and Ivy. The house has a view of Lake Champlain and the Adirondacks and Steve planted large gardens and raised animals on the farm. Becoming a “hobby” farmer was one of those choices that one might not understand. To spend time with Steve and watching him work the farm revealed that farming was part of the way he wanted to conduct his life and raise his family. Farming was the environment to teach his children core values that he was raised with and that were important to him.Steve held playtime important. He and I found common ground on the bicycle, although he found fulfillment in many other activities. Steve was an avid rugby player, wrestler and mountain biker. He also snow shoed, cross-country skied and was an avid hiker/climber. Steve was founder and coach of the youth wrestling program in his area, the school in his area and coached at UVB. No matter what Steve was doing he did it with passion.
I always considered Steve to be somewhat unconventional. Although his approach might have been unusual, it seems that he figured out life better than most of us. His dedication to friends and family and love for life should be an inspiration to us all. The pain that is felt by Kathie’s family, all of Steve’s friends, his in-laws and mostly Steve’s wife, Dawn and children Owen and Ivy, multiplies the sorrow we feel. |
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| Steve, Mike and Rachel | Steve and Mike |
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| (back: Steve, Dawn)(middle: Owen, Nick, Mike)(front: Ivy) | Steve and Owen |
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| Mike, Kathie, Steve, Dawn | Ed, Steve, Kathie |
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| Steve, Ed, Peg, Kathie, Mike, Tony | Tony, Mike, Kathie, Peg, Ed, Steve |
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| Ed, Steve, Rose, Mike, Tony | Ray and Steve |